The first victim was my coworker, who, upon sneezing, managed to bruise a rib. It took just one hard sneeze to send her to the hospital. Imagine what it could do to you.
Then I read the following article in which a Boston driver nearly lost his life when a single sneeze derailed his truck and sent it into the Charles River.
So in light of this epidemic I've taken some precautions to avoid sneeze-induced disaster. You may want to consider the following options for yourself.
- Avoid pepper at all costs. This includes, black, red, white, and cayenne. You might want to avoid Dr. Pepper, too, just to be safe.
- Avoid the outdoors as much as possible. There are literally tons of allergens just waiting to wreak havoc on your nose.
- Buy anything and everything that says the word "hypoallergenic" on it. It has a cool Grecian prefix so who cares if it's just an advertising term with no medical definition.
- Avoid the indoors as much as possible. There are literally tons of allergens just waiting to wreak havoc on your nose.
- Consider stuffing your nose with cotton balls or shutting your nostrils via the use of a clothespin. Just make sure you buy hypoallergenic cotton.
Sneeze-tastrophe. It could happen to you.