Saturday, December 27, 2008

Another reason not to go to the movies

People who get to know me will quickly learn one very important thing:

I do not like going to the movies.

People will also tell you that I don't like movies in general, but that's another issue for another day.

What I'm talking about today is actually going to a movie theater, inspired by this article:

Man shoots talker at movies, police say

Apparently, during a showing of "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," a father talking to his son during a movie caused another man to throw popcorn at the son and shoot the father.

So let's start off my list of reasons not to go to the movies right there:

Reason #1: You might get shot for talking
Just ask little Junior about this one. Ask your dad why Brad Pitt keeps growing younger and he ends up getting shot. True story.

Reason #2: It's too dang expensive
While I'm watching a movie in the theater I have this really bad habit of calculating the cost/benefit analysis of being there. The way I see it, the ticket alone costs about what I make in an hour. You can easily double that by buying popcorn and drinks. So to afford a two-hour movie, I have to work two hours. And that just doesn't add up in my head.

Reason #3: You're completely subject to show times
You may have wanted to see that latest action movie but, too bad, it's sold out for the next 3 showings. So you settle for the mystery thriller you weren't even interested in but, guess what, it doesn't start for another hour. So by the time everyone's outvoted you, you're sneaking in ten minutes late to the chick flick you vowed to never watch.

Reason #4: No remote control
I'll be the first to admit, I'm a bit of a control freak. So a little thing like not being able to pause or rewind a movie I'm watching is kind of irritating. So if I miss a piece of dialogue or need the bathroom, there's nothing I can do about it. This is why watching a movie at home is far far superior to the movie theater.

Reason #5: No talking
Ok, this goes two ways. First of all, the movie theater is the worst place to hang out with friends. Unless you have friends that you want to sit right next to for a couple of hours without talking. In which case, I wouldn't call them friends. Secondly, I can't stand people talking in the theater! At home it's ok - in fact, I encourage it. But in the theater there is absolutely no room for talking.

At all.


Just remember reason #1: You might get shot for talking...


abby said...

Eric, you would never make it through a theatre movie with me! LOL I tend to talk a lot. Greg and Joe both shush me all the time! Grr...

Anonymous said...

yup...hehe .. that's a good reason.. what was the last movie u went to with me? (*.*)

Miss Lopez said...

for the love of God, just go to a movie with me! it does not mean that we are not friends, it means that you are willing to do something i really enjoy and that makes you a good friend.

lets go see Benjamin Button, i promise i will not allow anyone to shot you.

eric, this was a funny blog! ")