Can you think of any greater combination than America's most beloved triangular snack food and the most popular post-midnight fast food chain in the U.S.? Of course not. I mean, what could be btter than layers of "meat" and "cheese" and other "stuff" wrapped in a little boat made of... made of... I'm not really sure what goes into the making of a Doritos tortilla chip. Corn, I hope, but I can't be too sure.
But who am I to question these things? No, these things must be enjoyed, mindlessly, preferably while tuning out in front of a television set.
Today I ventured out into an actual Taco Bell retail location. This was one of those fancier, more advanced dual Taco Bell and Pizza Hut combos. As tempting as combining "Mexican" and "Italian" food sounds, I stuck to the TB side of the menu and ordered something called a "Big Box."
Even after the lady manning the register explained the combo a couple of times, I still wasn't sure what I ordered exactly. So I waited patiently an entire two minutes until my order was called.
I opened the box to discover three items: a Cool Ranch Doritos taco, a Nacho Cheese Doritos taco, and a burrito-like food thing.
Unsure of the contents of the third item, I poked and prodded to see what was inside. I could identify flecks of onion and small strands of cheese swimming in a flood of liquid beans (and meat, maybe?). After managing one bite, I chose to move on to the Doritos Locos Tacos.
The Cool Ranch taco sort of tasted like Cool Ranch Doritos chips mixed with a Mexican bean dip. Oh wait, that's basically what it was. The same could be said for the Nacho Cheese option. That's not to say they were horrible. They certainly lacked a certain quality, but at least they were edible. That's more than I can say for the burrito thing I dumped in the trash.
As a reward for getting through most of the Big Box, I ended with a churro, which was easily the most normal part of my meal.
So, did we learn any lessons from today's exercise in very non-local, fast food "food?" Yes. Avoid it if at all possible. It's just not worth it.
Also, enjoy the rest of April Fools' Day.